Somehow somewhere in your brain, you wish. You wish its all a bad dream. You wish that all that needs to happen is for you to wake up. You wish that its not real. That if you close your eyes for a little while and you open them that its all over and all is good. But then it happens. You see her. And its like a knife slowly descending down your throat and into you heart. A weight falls on your shoulders trying to push you down. Trying to bend your knees till you fall to the ground. Your mind starts racing. Scenario's dark as can be run trough your mind and ripping you apart. You try to deny but its useless. A ball seems to form in your throat and the ground underneath your feet falls away. Is it your fault? You keep asking yourself: what if? Your heart is in pieces. Your brain to mashed With thoughts to make you think straight. Your body is drained from energy and all you want to do is lie down. Eyes closed. Brain shuting down. Silence. But chaos is around every corner. Your own mind is attacking you . You feel hungry but cant eat. Your body feels tired but you cant sleep. You try to find a void in your head. But when you find it. It runs, screaming, returning the chaos. It weighs on you, so heavy. Like a thick blanket anchored to the ground. While telling yourself to go on, you slowly feel more and more energy leaving your body. Work. You put on the mask, everyone sees a happy Shell. The mask put on so tight that it looks like the real thing. But inside and behind the mask, tears, hatred, love and anxiety dance a cruel dance together.
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